Sometimes You Have to Lose Everything to Find Yourself

In 2012, I moved to Bali. I went there because I was in love. My partner at the time, Nicole, wanted to start a spiritual retreat, and I wanted to support her dream. Back in Australia, I had already been helping her financially while she was getting started, and the plan was simple. I would support her while she built her business in Bali, and when it was up and running, she would help support me while I started mine.

So I put everything I had into helping her get established. I believed in her, and I believed in us. But over time, things began to fall apart. Our relationship ended, and with it, the life we were building together. By then, I had spent most of my savings keeping us afloat and had extended my stay far longer than I should have because, truthfully, I was heartbroken. Looking back, I think I ignored a few red flags because I wanted it to work. It was another one of those hard lessons life gives you, the kind that leaves a mark but also makes you stronger.

Despite how it ended, living in Bali was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I loved everything about it. The warmth of the people, the culture, the freedom, and the energy. I rode a motorbike right around the island, made amazing friends, and spent many nights watching live music at a jazz club called Ryoshi’s. The food was incredible, the pace of life was relaxed, and for a time, it felt like paradise.

Nicole’s dream was to create a spiritual retreat, and through that I was introduced to a side of Bali that changed me forever. Bali is known as the Island of the Gods, and you can truly feel it. The spiritual energy there is powerful and ever-present. While I was there, I met some incredible people who showed me things about the world, and about myself, that I had never understood before.

I met spiritual healers, attended ceremonies, and opened myself up to experiences that went far beyond anything I had known in Australia. I had always been a little bit spiritual, maybe a bit of a hippie at heart, but in Bali something deeper awakened in me.

The first healer I met told me things that left me speechless. At the time, I had been having strange pains in my neck and head, and when he placed his hand on me, he told me that I had bad spirits attached to me. I had not told him about the pain, yet somehow he knew. He said that these dark spirits had followed me from Australia and that because Bali is such a spiritually active place, their presence had become stronger.

He performed a ritual to remove them, using a wooden stick in a process that was both painful and intense. The moment it ended, I felt a rush of release. The pain that had been in my neck and head since I arrived seemed to vanish as if it had escaped my body. I will never forget that moment.

Later, I met another spiritual man, someone people travelled from all over the world to see. Because Nicole had made connections there, we were able to walk straight in without waiting in line. He told me things about myself that no one could possibly know. The accuracy and depth of what he said felt almost supernatural. I remember the way he looked at me, almost as if he could see straight into my soul.

He even hinted that the relationship I was in was not the right one for me. I cannot remember his exact words, but I remember the feeling. It was as if he knew that the path I was on was about to collapse, but that I would eventually find the right one. That encounter stayed with me long after I left.

Even now, part of me feels drawn back to that part of the world. Whether it is Bali, Thailand, Vietnam, or Borneo, I know I will probably end up living in Southeast Asia again one day. I love Australia, but it is hard watching how tough life here has become for so many people. The cost of living is insane, and it feels like most Australians are just trying to survive. So yes, I still miss Bali and everything it taught me.

The Spark That Changed Everything

While I was living there, I met a web developer who changed the direction of my life completely. At that time, I knew nothing about SEO. I told him I was thinking of selling hammocks from Bali online, and he explained that if I wanted to succeed, I would need to learn how to rank a website. He told me that SEO could completely change the way a small business grows and that if I ever learned how to do it properly, he might even have clients I could help with.

That conversation stuck with me.

When my relationship ended and I returned to Australia in 2013, I was flat broke, with no home, no job, and no backup plan. But I had an idea. I was determined to start a business and build a life for myself on my own terms.

Starting From Nothing

When I got back, I could not afford a place to live. I ended up moving into a small office space that I rented. It was never meant to be a living space, but at that time, it was all I could manage. There was no kitchen and no shower. At night, when everyone had gone home, I would fill a bucket with water, hook it up, and pour it over myself to wash.

For about a year and a half, that was my routine. I would sleep, work, and live in that small space, completely focused on trying to build something out of nothing. Eventually, when my business started bringing in a little money, I was able to get a gym membership across the road. That became my daily shower and a small luxury that made me feel human again.

Learning to Build

At that time, I started importing hammocks from Bali and wanted to sell them online. I remembered that conversation with the web developer, and I realised I needed to build a website. I could not afford to pay anyone, so I taught myself how to do it.

Once the website was up, I had to learn how to bring people to it. I started studying SEO, just as he had suggested. I spent countless nights reading, testing, failing, and trying again until I began to see results. Eventually, I became good enough to help other people too, just as he had said.

I got back in touch with that same developer, and true to his word, he gave me SEO work for his clients. That was how it all began. From there, I built my own SEO website and started getting clients from all over the world, including Australia, Indonesia, Japan, the United States, and a few other countries too.

Running Three Businesses at Once

At the same time, I launched what would eventually become my telecommunications business, SECURE A COM. I was working around the clock, managing three businesses at once, the hammock business, the SEO business, and SECURE A COM.

It almost broke me. I was constantly exhausted, barely sleeping, and had no time for anything else. But I refused to give up. Eventually, I realised that if I wanted to build something sustainable, I had to focus on one thing. So I made the decision to close the other businesses and dedicate everything I had to SECURE A COM.

That decision changed everything.

The Music That Kept Me Going

Through all of this, music kept me sane. That little office doubled as my studio. I had my drums set up in the next room, huge speakers, and a makeshift recording setup. I spent nights writing and recording songs that reflected exactly what I was going through, the uncertainty, the frustration, and the loneliness.

There were times when people looked down on me. They could not understand why I was living in an office, why I would not just go and get a regular job, and why I was putting myself through all of it. But for me, it was never about comfort. It was about freedom.

Freedom to think how I want to think.
Freedom to work with who I want to work with.
Freedom to create what I want to create.
Freedom to live life on my own terms.

What Success Really Means

Recently, I found an old video on one of my hard drives, footage I filmed during those years in the office. Watching it again reminded me of everything that period taught me.

Success looks different for everyone. For me, it was never about luxury or money. It was about building something from nothing, creating a life that gave me true independence, and proving to myself that I could do it.

That tiny office, those sleepless nights, and those years of sacrifice built the foundation for everything I have today. Since then, I have built the business I dreamed of, served thousands of customers, and continued to grow, not because it was easy, but because I refused to give up.

Looking Back

When I look at that old video now, it reminds me that the road to freedom is rarely glamorous. It is uncomfortable, uncertain, and full of sacrifice. But if you want something badly enough, you have to be willing to live unconventionally and back yourself completely, even when no one else understands why.